This Machine sucks
by black hearted evil
Summary: Tails creates a machine that extracts the opposite gender away from you...he tried it on Shadow...and now he's annoyed with his feminine side...Rouge volunteers and her masculine side is a lot harder to control...Chaos as the battle of the sexes go on!
1. Chapter 1

**Yayness! This is my 19th story! Nineteen! I rock! But… you guys are the judge of that…**

**Shadow-** If this story sucks, you have my permission to flame her!

**N-n-no! He didn't mean that!**

**Shadow**- Yes I did! Now do it!

"So, what is this invention, Tails?" asked Rouge.

"It can get… the opposite gender out of you… I still need to test it out… I tried it on that mushroom… and another appeared… and it was a rose…" Tails said.

"I also tried it out on Shadow… but he's a machine…" Tails said.

Rouge looked at Shadow. He stared at the girl next to him. She was similar to him.

"So, Shadow… what's my name? If I'm your feminine side… I need a feminine name…" she said.

"Shut up…" he muttered.

"Why did you think of me with such huge boobs?" the girl asked.

"That's it!" Shadow said. He started strangling her.

"Wait… Tails… that machine takes out your opposite gender… and they can be in any form you wish?" Rouge asked.

"What? No! I didn't make her… like this!" Shadow said.

"No… it just turns into your… fantasy… I guess I can call it that." Tails said.

"Fantasy? I'm not a pervert!" Shadow yelled.

"Yes you are… remember all the perverted fantasies you had about Rou-"

Shadow clasped her mouth shut. "Why are girls blabber mouths?" he asked.

"Wait… the other gender will know everything you know?" Rouge asked.

"Yep! I know everything Shadow knows… from the perverted lesbo stuff he thinks about you and Amy… to the sad past he had with Maria…" she said.

Shadow grabbed her throat. "I am so going to kill you…"

"So, Rouge… will you be my live specimen?" Tails asked.

"Okay… as long as I get to watch Shadow and his feminine side fight the whole day…" Rouge laughed.

He turned on his machine and pointed it at Rouge. Rouge closed her eyes. A huge laser was fired… Rouge didn't get hurt… but it tickled. The machine shut off. Rouge opened her eyes and gasped. She was not looking at a bat.

"Oh my god, you're a-"

**Rouge's masculine side isn't a bat… what is he? Shadow's feminine side… what's her name? Why are you still reading this when you can press the purple button to review?**

** Shadow-** Flame her! Flame her! Do it! Go kill this bitc-

**Waahh! Shadow hates me!**  



	2. Chapter 2

This won't be long… Shadow's girl and Rouge's boy is in my profile… after you find out their names, you can check it out…

"an echidna!" Rouge finished.

"Damn! I look like Knuckles! Except… I'm a lighter red." He said.

"And I thought… I had it bad…" Shadow said.

Rouge was wide eyed. "But… but… but…"

"Err… Rouge? Why is your masculine side… an echidna?" Shadow's girly girl asked.

"I don't know!" Rouge yelled.

**Right in front of Tails's house…**

"Sonic… come on! Tails said something about an invention…" Knuckles said.

"Well… I can't carry your huge emerald there…" Sonic said, struggling up the stairs. He tumbled over and ended up on the first step again. Knuckles sighed and took the emerald. He brought it up.

**Back inside…**

"Err… yeah… I'm going home…" Rouge said.

"You have to take me with you!" the echidna said.

"I don't even know you…"

"Yeah you do! I've been with you since you were born… and I remember the first time you saw Knuckles…" the echidna said with a smile. "Maybe… just call me Redd…"

"That's a nice name… let's go before Knuckles gets here! Oh… don't you dare tell anyone about this!" she said, pointing to Shadow, Tails and the girl.

"I want my name to be… Kryssa!" the hedgehog near Shadow said.

"Finally…" Shadow said.

Redd smiled and walked up to her. "You're kinda cute… slow… but cute." He said to Kryssa. He 'accidentally' dropped a piece of paper on her lap.

He walked back to Rouge. "Hey! This is Rouge's number!" Shadow called from downstairs.

"Not anymore! I live with her!" Redd said. Rouge opened the door and found Knuckles.

She looked at Redd. "Go back…" she whispered.

Redd smiled. He had a plan. "What did you say, Rouge?" he asked, walking closer. He was right next to her and saw Knuckles.

"Hey, Knuckles… what are you doing here?" Rouge asked.

"Umm… who's that?" Knuckles asked.

"Me? I'm Redd…" he said. (rhymes… Redd, said)

"Knuckles! I seriously don't think that we needed to bring your emerald…" Sonic said.

"Umm… I'm just going now…" Rouge said. She grabbed Redd by the collar and ran past them.

**Later…**

"Who was that echidna?" Knuckles asked.

He was walking around in Tails's lab. Kryssa and Shadow watched as he talked to himself. Sonic was waiting outside with the emerald.

"Sorry, we can't tell you anything about Redd…" Kryssa said.

"Idiot… we can't tell him the truth about you and the machine either… so lie…" Shadow whispered to Kryssa and Tails… who were sitting next to him, watching Knuckles pace.

"So who are you?" Knuckles asked.

"My cousin…" "His girlfriend…" They looked at each other.

"My girlfriend…" "His cousin…" Knuckles stared at them.

"My cousin's girlfriend!" they both said.

**That's it for now… Is anyone going to check their profiles?**


	3. Chapter 3

**ShadTikal4ever- My echidna Redd is in here… while my other echidna Echo is in 'The Long Mission' and 'Girls versus Boys'**

**Rouge-** Kai! I hate you! Why Redd? Why couldn't I get a nice, cute, sensitive, cute, happy, cute, hot, and cute kind of boy?

**Redd-** I'm all of that, plus more, baby! 

**Rouge- **Gross! I'm you! You're me!

**Kryssa- **And I'm Kryssa!

**Shadow-** Oh, god… just kill me now…

**At Rouge's house…**

"So, what's for dinner?" Redd asked.

"Uggh… can you please stop… I don't eat that much…"

"But… I'm different… I'm all the things you are **and** aren't!" Redd said.

**Tails's workshop…**

"She's not cheating on me, is she?"

"Umm… Knuckles… you guys aren't really in a full relationship yet…" Kryssa said.

"Wow… you actually said something smart…" Shadow mumbled.

"What?" Kryssa's dark green eyes switched into a fiery red. "Do not insult me… again." She said.

"Her intelligence grows at such a fast rate!" Tails said.

"What? You're talking about her as if she's a… machine… or some experiment…"

"Umm…"

"Damnit, Tails! Rouge is going to kill us!" Shadow said.

"Actually, Knuckles…" Kryssa started. "I'm different… umm… I'm like Shadow… except in a feminine form… I was… made by Tails!"

"And… Tails made you with… big… umm… never mind…"

"You never know how perverted a growing boy is, Knuckles…" Shadow said. "Right now, he can be thinking about Rouge and Amy being lesbos…"

"Umm… no, Shadow… that's you…"

"Shut up, Kryssa!" Shadow said, firm grip on her throat.

"Umm… yeah… you heard Shadow… never know when I have perverted thoughts…" Tails muttered.

"Right… I'm going over to her house… I know he can't be there… unless she invited him over…" Knuckles said with a clenched fist.

He ran outside and pulled Sonic with his emerald.

Shadow sat in Tails's lab, staring at Kryssa… "Why **did** you make her with such huge boobs?" Shadow joked.

"Shut up, Shadow… that's just your sick fantasy… okay?" Tails asked him.

"Sick? I think I'm pretty cute! Except for the perverted part that Shadow thought of me with an E-cup!" Kryssa said.

"If Knuckles finds Redd there…"

"And if Rouge finds out we almost told him…"

"We're all doomed!" the three said.

They all rushed out the door to go to Rouge's…

**Read the next chappie… l8r kay?**


	4. Chapter 4

**Yayness! I took some of the reviews as suggestions… so if you find your thing here… I'm happy for ya! Thanx for all the reviews/suggestion!**

**Rouge's house…**

Redd yawned. Rouge looked at him. _I guess he's okay… when he's quiet…he does look cute from this angle… but whatever…_

**Tails's lab…**

"Damn! I am sooo happy I stayed! Knux'll probably make me carry his Emerald again…" Sonic said. He walked around Tails's lab.

"Hey… what's this?" Sonic asked. Sonic pressed a few random buttons on Tails's new invention.

"Aww… it doesn't do anything…" Sonic said. He walked around some more… then, Tails's machine charged and fired it's laser at Sonic. Sonic fell over from the shock… but (un) fortunately was not hurt. He looked up to find a girl.

**Race to Rouge's house…**

"Look, there's Knuckles!" Tails said.

Shadow grabbed Kryssa and Tails's hands and sped ahead of Knuckles. Knuckles was puzzled by this but kept running.

**Rouge's house…**

The doorbell rang. Rouge was up on the second floor. "Redd? Can you get the door?"

"No! Get off of your lazy ass and **you** get it!" Redd said. (funny rhyme…)

"What? I just finished taking a bath!" Rouge said.

"LAZY ASS! That's why you're so fat!" Redd said with a smile.

"Grr!" he heard from upstairs.

Rouge came down wearing a robe and some green stuff on her face. (I seriously don't know what that is… I'm not an official girly girl…) She opened the door.

Shadow jumped up from the shock. Tails tried not to look at her. Kryssa went in and pulled Shadow and Tails in.

"What do you guys want?" Rouge asked.

Shadow closed her front door and locked it.

"I'm sorry, Rouge… but this is for our own protection…" Shadow said.

Someone rang the doorbell. She touched the doorknob but Shadow pushed her away.

"Rouge… that's Knuckles… you gotta hide Redd…" Tails said.

She sighed. She pulled Redd's lazy ass off of her couch.

"Redd, I need you to stay upstairs… please?" Rouge asked.

Redd sighed and dragged himself up the stairs. When he was fully hidden, Kryssa opened the door.

Knuckles came in with the Master Emerald. "Why are you guys here?" Knuckles asked.

"Umm… we were invited…" Tails mumbled.

Knuckles looked at Rouge. "You've been invited by Rouge… right after she took a bath?" Knuckles asked, a bit suspicious of the three…

**Tails's lab yet again…**

"Who are you?" Sonic asked.

The girl raised an eyebrow. "Ya know… for a really fast hedgehog… you're really slow at thinking…" she said.

"Wha?"

"Exactly… and about the name… you do it… you made me…" she said.

"Umm… how about…Reina?"

"Umm… that's actually good… Reina will reign over this crappy city yours… and then… the world!" she said.

"Okay… have fun…" Sonic said stupidly.

**That's it for now! Buh bye!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hi everyone! No time to waste! Here ya go!**

Reina was terrorizing the town and Sonic was just walking around Tails's lab. _Wait… that Reina person… she… looked like me… wait… she said she was going to take over… and I think I'm supposed to stop her…_

Sonic ran out of Tails's lab.

**Rouge's house…**

Rouge was fully dressed and sitting in the kitchen with Shadow, Tails, Kryssa, and Knuckles. All of them (except Shadow) had fake smiles on… they stared at Knuckles. His eyes narrowed in suspicion.

It's nothing… he's just… here… doing nothing… at all… I hope that Redd'll be okay up there… oh no… what if he's destroying my room?

"Umm… excuse me for a second…" Rouge said as she stood up.

She ran up the stairs. Kryssa and Tails continued to smile at Knuckles. Knuckles was too suspicious now… "Umm… I'm… going to the bathroom…" he lied.

Kryssa and Tails lost their smiles. Kryssa pushed Tails off of his seat. Tails followed Knuckles.

"Umm… why are you following me?" Knuckles asked.

**Upstairs…**

"Ohmygoodgod…" Rouge said, as she stared at what **used** to be her room.

"What? It's not half bad…" Redd said. (heh, heh… rhymes…)

"What… happened?" she gasped out.

Her purple and pink room was now… green and red…

"My two favorite colors… green and red!" Redd laughed out.

Rouge's mouth was still open. "I… hate… those… colors…"

"Too bad…" Redd smirked.

Knuckles… Damn… finally got him away from me… now I can go upstairs… 

Knuckles started climbing upstairs… although he couldn't see her… he could hear her… which was okay for him… he heard:

"Redd, how could you?" Rouge asked.

"It's okay… jeez… what? You want a hug or something?" he asked.

"HELL no!" she said quite loudly.

"Shut up… you want your boyfriend to hear you?"

"That's it! I'm gonna kill you!" Rouge said.

She jumped onto Redd and started strangling him.

**Sorry… writer's block coming back… suggestions on… anything?**


	6. Chapter 6

**Haven't updated in a long time…**

**As you all remember… Rouge was strangling Redd…**

"I can't fucking believe you!" Rouge said.

She was on top of Redd, strangling him. Knuckles walked upstairs and saw this… he… misunderstood. He fainted from the shock.

"Aww… see what you did? You made your boyfriend faint!" Redd said. (rhymes…)

Rouge stood up. She put her foot on Redd's stomach.

"What… the… HELL… are… you… doing?" he gasped out.

"I HATE YOU!" Rouge yelled.

**Downstairs…**

Rouge's scream echoed all around her house.

"Oh my… why is it so bad?" Tails asked.

"Because your other gender is completely different from you…" Shadow said.

Kryssa looked at him. "What?" she asked.

"She's stupid again!" Shadow said.

"Why are her behavior patterns changing?" Tails asked.

Suddenly, someone rang Rouge's doorbell.

"Someone get it! I'm too busy killing someone!" Rouge yelled.

Shadow pushed Kryssa up to get it. She sighed and walked to the door.

When she opened it, Sonic came in.

"I have a major prob-… never mind… it can wait…" he said, after he spotted Kryssa.

Tails and Shadow went to see who it was.

"Shadow… Sonic looks like he likes Kryssa…" Tails whispered.

"So?"

"He might get… some info from her… which is the same info as yours…"

Sonic looked at the girl hedgehog. Kryssa looked at his eyes.

"What's your name?" Sonic asked.

"Kryssa…" she said with a smile.

"That's a unique name…" he said with a sigh.

"Umm… Sonic… why are you here?" Tails asked.

"Umm… I don't remember… wait… umm… machine… oh yeah! I played around with your machine and there's this really smart, evil hedgehog trying to take over the world!" Sonic said.

"Okay…" Shadow said. "So?"

From upstairs, everyone heard:

"SHUT UP, YOU MOTHERFUCKING, SON OF AN UGLY BITCH!" Rouge yelled.

"You know I'm you, right? You just called yourself a motherfucking, son of an ugly bitch!" Redd said.

He ran out of Rouge's room and ran down the stairs. Rouge followed him.

"Grr… you ugly bastard!" she screeched.

"You did it again! You called yourself an ugl-"

Redd stopped near Shadow and Tails. Rouge was panting. She walked over to them.

"I can't do this… I'm going upstairs…" she said.

She walked to her room.

She sighed. "He is such a pain in the ass! Oh shit! I just did it again! I called mys-…… whatever… but… I keep thinking… this is just for my attention…" Rouge whispered to herself.

Outside in the hallway, Knuckles woke up and heard Rouge talking to herself.

"I can't believe this… I can't love myself! Can I?" she asked.

**That's it for now! Any suggestions?**


End file.
